Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The Advantages of Being an Older, More Experienced Mother

You maybe one of those few people I see on the street who give me funny looks probably wondering if Sophie's my granddaughter. Or like many family and friends who boldly ask "Why I would want to start all over and raise a baby?" Here are a few of the answers:
1. Ever since I was a young girl, I've always felt God giving me the desire to adopt a little girl from Asia. I'd see an adorable little girl and my heartstrings would be tugged or Frank would come home and tell me about a broadcast he heard about adoption and say we needed to consider it for our family. Little signs along the way of our lives would occur here and there, over and over, always leading us on the same path of adoption. We were following a leading that God had placed in our hearts. I'm am sure of this like nothing else in my life, that adopting is definitely a "God thing".

2. Besides the fact that we were following God's plan for our lives, we can truthfully say that we've been there and done that (BTDT, affectionately referred to as in the adoption community). I know what to expect and have the experience to deal with temper tantrums, potty training issues, spilt milk all over the floor, and how important it is to play with her.

3. I have two, terrifically loving teenagers at home who enjoy giving her a bath, taking her to the park, playing with her while I cook, putting her down for her nap, and babysitting so I can run a few errands. Without Courtney and Josh this would be a different story. They are exceptional teenagers who continue to amaze me with their thoughtfulness, caring attitude, and gentle ways. They are being trained as parents and I know they are benefitting from all this practice, they've said so themselves!

4. Also, I actually ENJOY changing diapers, cleaning sticky fingerprints off the sliding glass doors, watching silly kid videos, reading wonderful children's books with lots of pictures, teaching Sophie all about the world and seeing her eyes light up in excitement, dancing with her in my arms to Steven Curtis Chapman's song "Cinderella", laying on the floor doing puzzles for the hundredth time, and building towers out of blocks only to let her knock them over.

5. She has caused me to slow down and enjoy life. I'm not working at this time so I can focus on being the best mommie I can be and I'm loving it. The entire family is reaping the benefits as well. Frank has been such an awesome father and provider allowing me to stay home indefinitely to be there for my kids. I appreciate all he does for our family. Having a Godly husband is a great advantage!

6. One of the best parts is I get one more chance to get tight, squeezy hugs; wet, slobbery kisses, and hear that oh-so-sweet voice calling out "Mama". I still get to see my sweet baby's eyes as she drifts off to sleep, or she stops playing for a minute-looks up at me-and smiles. I love it when she wants me to carry her everywhere, knowing that I'm the only mama she's ever had that would value her so much as to care for everyone of her needs. My heart is constantly being melted by this little miracle, God's miracle in our lives.
7. I now have the wisdom (and finances) to realize that hiring a babysitter is very cost effective, giving me a much needed break, allowing me to have dates with my husband of almost 25 years, and giving Sophie someone new to play and interact with. And...I don't feel guilty about leaving her. Now that's definitely an advantage!

So you see, it's not all that bad being a mama in my late 40's. It's a blessing really. Don't feel sorry for me. Be happy for me that I've heard God's voice, followed His lead, and have finally found my purpose in life. Adopting a baby is the biggest blessing of my life and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for listening!


Laurie said...

Amen, Amen, Amen! I couldn't have said it better myself. I do kind of wish I had those helpful teenagers around, but I still wouldn't have it any other way. I'm so glad you wrote that post- could we broadcast it around the world somehow? :)

another 40 something raising a toddler. :)

Jenn said...

Isn't it too much fun "doing it again"!!? We had someone comment to us that we will be parenting for 40 years. Wow. I don't think I'd want it any other way though!

Yippee for blessed us!!

San and Betty Hui said...

I love this post. I, too, am an older mom, going back to diapers all over again! :) Your post is so heart warming, and I can totally relate. Thanks for putting it into words so well.

Betty (adoptive mom-to-be)